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| A real photo ! I swear ! |
Hi There!
Troy and Gabriella, Jade and Beck, Mitchie and Shane, Sam and Freddie, Rachel and Finn, you've heard of them? Or maybe you've heard of Claire and John, Ferris and Sloane, Baby and Johnny, Rose and Jack or Sandy and Danny. I was instilled with this radical fantasy, an outlandish tale, of the life I THOUGHT I would lead in high school. One filled with 'capital R' Romance. namely, sitting in tree top houses with flowers in my hair, singing karaoke with cute boys on new years eye, dancing around a tree at an ivy league university and bursting out in song at every rainy window I pass... I am really not joking. At age 12, I was genuinely convinced that I would be Gabriella Montez.
Here is what really happened:
- I can't find anyone with a tree top house in Sydney, rent is too expensive to use up valuable backyard space.
- Karaoke is embarrassing and I can't sing... like at all.
- Australia actually doesn't have Ivy League schools and Stanford has a 2% acceptance rate.
- I remember that time a boy's hand touched mine in a Smiths 'Salt and Vinegar' packet around 6 years ago... and I think about it daily.
- I pretty much liked the same person the entire time and tried my best to ignore it.
- I day dreamed about said boy way too often, making reality seem wildly dull.
- I vicariously lived through romance novels, Gilmore Girls and my friends relationships.
- Took an unpaid job as a matchmaker, hoping that Austen would write Mr Knightly into my storyline if I fulfilled my KPI's.
Now do not kid yourself. I am not sitting about and I am not moping. I most definitely am not crying out any rainy windows wishing I had a man by my side... at least I am not doing that anymore. I would be lying if I said that I had always been satisfied being alone. Especially since all that alone time gave me hours and days to fashion perfect scenarios in my head. I would also be lying if I said that watching all my friends be in relationships didn't make me sad occasionally... and I definitely still daydream about those perfect dates, perfect kisses and perfect guys.
According to Dr DePaulo, it is scientifically proven that single people have a multitude of benefits that non-single just cannot attain (take a look). Frankly, I am SO damn happy that I didn't have a high school relationship. I have built a healthy amount of self-sufficient self-confidence, I don't need anyone else to be satisfied, I never had any boy drama, I acquired many incredible friendships (of whom my time is entirely devoted) and I achieved awesome grades that got me into the university course of my dreams.
So to all those loners out there thinking that you are less cool, less amazing or beautiful because high school didn't throw you a Troyella relationship THINK AGAIN! Take this time to work on YOUR confidence, get to know yourself and you body without being dependant on someone else. Use this precious time to make friends and find your passion because chances are that your peak is right around the corner and you want to ride that roller-coaster all the way to the top.
As Rizzo from Grease said, nothing is worse than staying home every night, waiting around from Mister Right (or Mrs), taking cold showers everyday and throwing your life away on a dream that won't come true.
Here are ten things I learnt in my last 18 years of being independently owned and operated:
- Beings single is ALWAYS a choice. If you want a romantic relationship, you can find one. It only depends on whether or not you want it to be lucrative.
- If you're going to be in a relationship, make sure it is meaningful. Doing it just to say you did it is worse than not doing it at all.
- Confidence in yourself genuinely comes from within. Relying on other people's appraisal is a death-trap in itself.
- Not being distracted is an elephantine blessing.
- Having an awesome best friend is like being in a romantic relationship in almost every single way, except for the sex. aka. intimacy does not just come in one form.
- Don't be jealous of other people's relationships. You will never know what is going on behind closed doors.
- The 5 by 5 rule: If it is not going to matter in 5 years do not cry over it (him/her) for more than 5 minutes... You'll only look back and think that you wasted your time and precious energy.
- The movies... they lied to you. He isn't going to stand outside your house with a boombox or throw pebbles at your window (at least not in my experience) P.S. I still struggle getting this one into my head.
- Your celebrity crushes WILL tweet you back eventually if you're persistent enough... THAT will be more fulfilling than anything.
- As cheesy as it sounds... Good things come to those who wait, even though I am still waiting.
By no means am I an expert on this topic, in fact you can see that I am quite the opposite. But in all my pondering and compartmentalisation I would like to think that I have learnt a few key lessons that I plan on carrying into my university years (with caution and room for growth of course)
The main message: You are NOT defined by your relationships! Whether you are single like I am, or knee deep in roses and silk bed sheets, you value is beyond this valley entirely. You WILL be happy eventually (if you are not already self actualised) so do not waste your time wishing you were somewhere else. You might just be perched atop the final cobble stepping stone before you can leap to the final destination.
Remember... think colossally and let your brain wonder amongst the stars.
All the love x
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