I Worry... Like, a LOT

Hi There!

My name is Scarlett Kaplan and I am an un-ironic, unequivocal and entirely all-consuming worry wort. I know right now that every single baby boomer within a 70km radius is going
"mILeNnIaLs aRe ANxIoUs ABouT eVeRyThinG"
but seriously... I am anxious about everything.

I'm at the point in my life where I'm not exactly an adult and I'm definitely not a child. I am being forced to make MASSIVE and extremely influential decisions about the direction of my life and I'm expected to be calm and collected? what a load of bullshit!
I hate to break it to you adults, but it's actually very stressful. It might not be as stressful as being behind on your mortgage repayments, forgetting to take your birth control pills or realizing the person you just married has a crazy ex who keeps requesting you on Facebook. But to us, that's exactly what it feels like.

Look, I am entirely aware that stressing about issues out of my control is pointless. That sitting down for my hour-long existential crisis scheduled daily is merely hindering my productivity. It is useless anxiety. But the perpetual fear of my future is too much for my tiny little mushy head-sponge to contain.
I sometimes wish I had a 'pensieve' like Dumbledore in Harry Potter so i could simply cast away my thoughts before bed. This way I wouldn't wake up fifteen times between one and two AM with the same dream of UAC themed alien-rhinos eating my face and threatening to take 20 points off my ATAR.

For some people, you feel this way about your friends, your boyfriends or girlfriends, maybe family issues or money problems. For me though, it is the impending doom of the HSC and getting into university that seems to swamp my mind.
I call this 'perfectionist paralysis'. Meaning that I am so scared of not doing well, or performing perfectly that I am virtually crippled and stupefied by the thought, meaning I don't do anything at all.

As an intuitive and mindful person, I've realised that living my life like this is unacceptable, exhausting and tedious. So here are a list of things that I have implemented just recently with the aim to reducing this stress induced paralysis:

• Daily meditation (5 mins in the morning and 10 mins before bed)
• Outlets aka. journaling, writing and exercise (meaning I just walk my dog everyday)
• Discipline- this sounds dumb, but I try to schedule time for myself to think about the reality of these issues. For example, on the bus. So if I'm in math class and thinking about not getting into uni because my marks are too low, I tell myself that I'm allowed to worry in 2 hours, but for now I need to focus. 
• The practice of ACCEPTANCE. Trying to realise that if its out of your control, its out of your control. 

Yes, I'm still going mad and my heart still drops every time I think about what my life will be like in two months. But this has helped, and I'm hoping that it will continue to do so.
So until next time...


Remember... think colossally and let your brain wonder among the stars
All the love x