High School Relationships... My Experience

A real photo ! I swear !

Hi There!

Troy and Gabriella, Jade and Beck, Mitchie and Shane, Sam and Freddie, Rachel and Finn, you've heard of them? Or maybe you've heard of Claire and John, Ferris and Sloane, Baby and Johnny, Rose and Jack or Sandy and Danny. I was instilled with this radical fantasy, an outlandish tale, of the life I THOUGHT I would lead in high school. One filled with 'capital R' Romance. namely, sitting in tree top houses with flowers in my hair, singing karaoke with cute boys on new years eye, dancing around a tree at an ivy league university and bursting out in song at every rainy window I pass... I am really not joking. At age 12, I was genuinely convinced that I would be Gabriella Montez. 

Here is what really happened:

• I can't find anyone with a tree top house in Sydney, rent is too expensive to use up valuable backyard space.
• Karaoke is embarrassing and I can't sing... like at all. 
• Australia actually doesn't have Ivy League schools and Stanford has a 2% acceptance rate.
• I remember that time a boy's hand touched mine in a Smiths 'Salt and Vinegar' packet around 6 years ago... and I think about it daily.
• I pretty much liked the same person the entire time and tried my best to ignore it. 
• I day dreamed about said boy way too often, making reality seem wildly dull.
• I vicariously lived through romance novels, Gilmore Girls and my friends relationships.
• Took an unpaid job as a matchmaker, hoping that Austen would write Mr Knightly into my storyline if I fulfilled my KPI's. 

Now do not kid yourself. I am not sitting about and I am not moping. I most definitely am not crying out any rainy windows wishing I had a man by my side... at least I am not doing that anymore. I would be lying if I said that I had always been satisfied being alone. Especially since all that alone time gave me hours and days to fashion perfect scenarios in my head. I would also be lying if I said that watching all my friends be in relationships didn't make me sad occasionally... and I definitely still daydream about those perfect dates, perfect kisses and perfect guys. 

According to Dr DePaulo, it is scientifically proven that single people have a multitude of benefits that non-single just cannot attain (take a look). Frankly, I am SO damn happy that I didn't have a high school relationship. I have built a healthy amount of self-sufficient self-confidence, I don't need anyone else to be satisfied, I never had any boy drama, I acquired many incredible friendships (of whom my time is entirely devoted) and I achieved awesome grades that got me into the university course of my dreams. 

So to all those loners out there thinking that you are less cool, less amazing or beautiful because high school didn't throw you a Troyella relationship THINK AGAIN! Take this time to work on YOUR confidence, get to know yourself and you body without being dependant on someone else. Use this precious time to make friends and find your passion because chances are that your peak is right around the corner and you want to ride that roller-coaster all the way to the top. 

As Rizzo from Grease said, nothing is worse than staying home every night, waiting around from Mister Right (or Mrs), taking cold showers everyday and throwing your life away on a dream that won't come true. 

Here are ten things I learnt in my last 18 years of being independently owned and operated:

1. Beings single is ALWAYS a choice. If you want a romantic relationship, you can find one. It only depends on whether or not you want it to be lucrative. 
2. If you're going to be in a relationship, make sure it is meaningful. Doing it just to say you did it is worse than not doing it at all. 
3. Confidence in yourself genuinely comes from within. Relying on other people's appraisal is a death-trap in itself.
4. Not being distracted is an elephantine blessing.
5. Having an awesome best friend is like being in a romantic relationship in almost every single way, except for the sex. aka. intimacy does not just come in one form. 
6. Don't be jealous of other people's relationships. You will never know what is going on behind closed doors.
7. The 5 by 5 rule: If it is not going to matter in 5 years do not cry over it (him/her) for more than 5 minutes... You'll only look back and think that you wasted your time and precious energy. 
8. The movies... they lied to you. He isn't going to stand outside your house with a boombox or throw pebbles at your window (at least not in my experience) P.S. I still struggle getting this one into my head. 
9. Your celebrity crushes WILL tweet you back eventually if you're persistent enough... THAT will be more fulfilling than anything.
10. As cheesy as it sounds... Good things come to those who wait, even though I am still waiting. 

By no means am I an expert on this topic, in fact you can see that I am quite the opposite. But in all my pondering and compartmentalisation I would like to think that I have learnt a few key lessons that I plan on carrying into my university years (with caution and room for growth of course)

The main message: You are NOT defined by your relationships! Whether you are single like I am, or knee deep in roses and silk bed sheets, you value is beyond this valley entirely. You WILL be happy eventually (if you are not already self actualised) so do not waste your time wishing you were somewhere else. You might just be perched atop the final cobble stepping stone before you can leap to the final destination. 

Remember... think colossally and let your brain wonder amongst the stars. 

All the love x

I Graduated High School... Here Is My Meltdown

Hi There!

Well well well... who would have thought that i would be here today writing about the fact that i ACTUALLY finished high school... 13 years of schooling and education and I'm finally done. I am officially a non-contributing member of society. I don't have a job or any money and I am not yet receiving a higher education!

What on earth do I do? I'm sure this is a common feeling amongst people who are non-contributing members of society, but I just feel so fundamentally purposeless. After the last few years of non-stop study I've almost forgotten how to relax (irrespective of the 14 day cruise I took with my grandmother, in which I basically metamorphosised into an elderly women). Even when I did 'nothing' to try and relax, my brain would betray me and direct a full blown cinematic motion picture detailing all the things i should be doing instead of watching "One Direction Cute and Funny Moments 2012" on my phone in the dark.

On top off my ongoing existential crisis, I am currently experiencing a near fatalistic and highly contagious bout of post-traumatic HSC disorder. I can no longer walk through Coles and casually recognise a song from the Billy Elliot soundtrack. I most definitely cannot resist blurting out facts about Roman history at a perfectly mellow family dinner, reciting halakhic passages or pointing out a phrase that Shakespeare coined in the 17th Century. Most frightening of all, I simply cannot stop singing the anagram song that I made up to remember my legislation and cases! (its just so damn catchy)

Anyways on another note ... I filmed myself during this the month of the HSC so that one day I could look back and reflect on this whole ordeal and hopefully think "PFT! I am a human rights lawyer saving the world by day and Harry Styles' wife getting freaky by night, why was I even stressed?"
I am certain that I'll be thinking something of the sort by this time next year (EVEN without the Harry part) because I ALREADY do that about almost every single thing that I've been stressed about in the past. So if you are willing to sit through it, feel free to witness many mini-breakdowns and the catastrophic shifts between being all WOOO and being all BOOO in layman's terms.

I DO plan on focusing on the more positive aspects of schooling in the future, but I am equally devoted to realism. And not the kind you think you know, like when Jennifer Lawrence talks about burping or falls down one time. But me sitting in my room, with no makeup on, in my Ravenclaw sweater, with dirty hair and eye bags... THAT is relatable.

Remember... think colossally and let your brain wonder among the stars
All the love x

I Worry... Like, a LOT

Hi There!

My name is Scarlett Kaplan and I am an un-ironic, unequivocal and entirely all-consuming worry wort. I know right now that every single baby boomer within a 70km radius is going
"mILeNnIaLs aRe ANxIoUs ABouT eVeRyThinG"
but seriously... I am anxious about everything.

I'm at the point in my life where I'm not exactly an adult and I'm definitely not a child. I am being forced to make MASSIVE and extremely influential decisions about the direction of my life and I'm expected to be calm and collected? what a load of bullshit!
I hate to break it to you adults, but it's actually very stressful. It might not be as stressful as being behind on your mortgage repayments, forgetting to take your birth control pills or realizing the person you just married has a crazy ex who keeps requesting you on Facebook. But to us, that's exactly what it feels like.

Look, I am entirely aware that stressing about issues out of my control is pointless. That sitting down for my hour-long existential crisis scheduled daily is merely hindering my productivity. It is useless anxiety. But the perpetual fear of my future is too much for my tiny little mushy head-sponge to contain.
I sometimes wish I had a 'pensieve' like Dumbledore in Harry Potter so i could simply cast away my thoughts before bed. This way I wouldn't wake up fifteen times between one and two AM with the same dream of UAC themed alien-rhinos eating my face and threatening to take 20 points off my ATAR.

For some people, you feel this way about your friends, your boyfriends or girlfriends, maybe family issues or money problems. For me though, it is the impending doom of the HSC and getting into university that seems to swamp my mind.
I call this 'perfectionist paralysis'. Meaning that I am so scared of not doing well, or performing perfectly that I am virtually crippled and stupefied by the thought, meaning I don't do anything at all.

As an intuitive and mindful person, I've realised that living my life like this is unacceptable, exhausting and tedious. So here are a list of things that I have implemented just recently with the aim to reducing this stress induced paralysis:

• Daily meditation (5 mins in the morning and 10 mins before bed)
• Outlets aka. journaling, writing and exercise (meaning I just walk my dog everyday)
• Discipline- this sounds dumb, but I try to schedule time for myself to think about the reality of these issues. For example, on the bus. So if I'm in math class and thinking about not getting into uni because my marks are too low, I tell myself that I'm allowed to worry in 2 hours, but for now I need to focus. 
• The practice of ACCEPTANCE. Trying to realise that if its out of your control, its out of your control. 

Yes, I'm still going mad and my heart still drops every time I think about what my life will be like in two months. But this has helped, and I'm hoping that it will continue to do so.
So until next time...


Remember... think colossally and let your brain wonder among the stars
All the love x

The Fiftieth Gate | Speedy Book Thoughts

"Jews do not remember with flowers; their petals wither on a grave as if the corpse is a temporal thing ... Jews remember with stones; impenetrable, mysterious, eternal"

Hi There!

I picked this book up on the recommendation of a teacher who thought that I might enjoy the unique form. As a history buff with a personal, family connection to the tragic events that took place in the 1940's before and beyond, I am equally drawn to and extremely weary of texts on the subject. Becoming depressed or overly-existential is not uncommon for me when I am faced with these recounts. 

The narrative is told from the perspective of Mark Baker a Jewish boy from Melbourne who is delving into his parents past and through historical records, video recordings encapsulating fragments of memory and secondary accounts, aiming to fill gaps in memory of his mother, father and the atrocities they encountered. 

I firstly can commend the synthesis of textual forms in the novel. Almost as a non-fiction novel with a wig and hat on, pretending to be prose fiction. I can appreciate the literary blend, but at times found it difficult to be engaged with the non-fiction side, as I didn't particularly expect to be interpreting Polish records. 

Equally, I enjoyed the direct dialogue from the perspective of the parents. Maybe the easiest part of the book to read. But with little character development, never REALLY seeing into the current lives of the characters, that reader to character bond never really was formed. I did not feel attached to these characters regardless of what I read about their past. Whether or not they were MEANT to be adored, I am unsure. At times the fragmented form was less mysterious and more confusing. 

In short. I would not recommend this book to someone looking for a light read. Rather someone who is looking to endure a labour of love for Jewish history and Australian fiction. I'm glad I got through it, but i will NOT be doing it again

Remember... think colossally and let your brain wonder among the stars
All the love x

How I 'Survived' My First Semester of Year 12...

Hi There!

I am starting this blog off extremely selfishly!
I felt that it would be rewarding to reflect on the last 6 months which for everyone my age, in their senior year that is, is guaranteed to understand is exactly 50% cursed and 50% blessed.
I for one, am actually SO surprised that I've kept it together this much... although each day that creeps closer to trial exams and the HSC (high school certificate) terrifies me more and more.

I must say, that the amount I've learnt, not just academically in the last half-year has been more than I could have imagined... and maybe more than my brain could handle

I have somehow... and I can't tell you exactly how, become expert at tackling exam stress. I went from being that person who is shaking as they walk into the exam room, to the person who looks at people like that and shakes their head saying 'what an idiot... they're just freaking themselves out'.
I claim it was a mixture of regular meditation, heightened confidence, in myself and my ability AND finally getting rid of those friends who bring me down.. especially in those kind of stressful situations. My advice is to younger student who get exam jitters is give it time! It all becomes less scary the more you do it!

I terms of the way that you study, having a blanket statement exam guide doesn't always work, especially when you're preparing for ONE final exam. Legal studies for example has 4 topics. For some of them all you need to do is write an essay in the HSC, so in this case, you should learn the content but focus on prepping different exam questions instead of making endless flashcards for the topic... this is SMART not HARD.

I don't know about you but by stopping doing what I love doing the most, that is reading, writing, watching HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER! makes me want to work LESS! By separating yourself from your downtime, your interests, you are losing sight of who you really are. You are NOT a study robot. By allowing myself time to do what I love most every now and then, I am able to remember my goals and ambitions. By keeping yourself alive, both literally and mentally, you are actually enhancing your learning even though you might not be studying at that exact moment...

I am lucky, very lucky to have best friends who are the BEST friends. They support me, help me when I feel like sh*t and give me confidence everyday. For you that might be a parent, cousin, friend, pet etc.  In times of adversity and stress everyone is prone to flip out a little bit especially when you're frustrated and sometimes we take it out on those we KNOW are not going to really get mad... trust me, even I do this. Remember that those few people who love you and care for you are only trying to do just that. Listen to them, take their wisdom and love and punch a pillow instead. You need your rocks!

Year 12 is a year of much stress, many tears and restless night. It is also a year of parties, 18th birthdays, reunited friends and new ones. This is your last year as a kid and first as an adult, you have the best of both worlds. Your English essay can wait until Sunday if your friend is having a party on Saturday. Fun times are the times you will remember. Work around them, don't sacrifice them. Go and be yourself and have fun with your friends (and always be safe)

Finally, I've never been one for the cringe positivism crap I read on Pinterest... until I started ACTUALLY reading it. By talking to yourself with positive and affirmative thoughts, you are being motivated from inside out and literally forcing yourself to be happy from inside out. I made little visualisation boards for my room and wallpapers for my phone and laptop. I find that if you are surrounded by enough positivity and motivation, it genuinely seeps into your life

In summary:

1. Exam jitters... they do more evil than good!
2. Study smart, not hard... sound cliche but its the truth!
3. Time away from the books is just as important as time in front of the books 
4. Your best friends are your BEST assets
5. Work around the fun and get as much of it as you can 
6. Surround yourself with positivity 

In short, they are the main aspects of change that have allowed me to 'survive' the last 6 months. By no means have I been jolly and skippy ever moment of every day. I've had some hard days and I've bunt out many many times, I've had some incredible days. But you know what? I've done pretty damn well if you ask me.


Remember... think colossally and let your brain wonder among the stars
All the love x